i've been feeling something sick for the past few days, nothing more than the sniffing/ear-popping/coughing/nose-blowi
i imagine this happens to everyone, or at least most, but i feel like i get to a point where i don't know how to deal with anything. where i get confused by anything that happens. any conversation, any class, any snow day, any time i wake up, any decision i make, any decision i don't make, any dream, any television show/movie's corrilation with my own life, any detail of anything. everything seems a bit much to always consider. i think i need someone to tell me that i'm doing the right thing. i don't usually find that i need this sort of reassurance at all, but i also don't really think that i hear it that often. which is why sometimes i don't know if i am. or why i usually just assume that i'm not. and i know, i know: "just do what you feel" or "forget what anyone else says or thinks, as long as you're doing what you want right now", but i lie to myself constantly, so how can i trust what i really "want" to do, or what i "feel". we're all supposed to be Buddha and Allah and Jesus and Krishna, and maybe we are, i don't know, maybe that's why decisions have to be lived with and things can't be pushed under the carpet because no matter where they physically or metaphorically go, they don't go anywhere.
also, i'll never do it. i can't. i'm not an actor.
i guess we'll be alright. once we figure it out. i don't know, maybe we won't.
i think the 'quill's kicking in.